Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Breastfeeding Battle

I suppose everyone will live without a visual this time. :)
Breastfeeding-the most unnatural thing in the world. Please don't think I'm on the verge here. I'm doing fine. I love my baby. However, it is day 4. Usually the time when baby blues hit me the most. Before that you feel pretty good. You've only had a few days of horrible sleep. You think your baby is so cute that for a few seconds, you even think about having another one.

And then your milk comes in. And you've had three nights of no sleep. And your kids are fighting. I wish I was one of those people who have no problems at all with breastfeeding. It was always something I planned on doing. With B, every nurse in the hospital had mandhandled me to get him to nurse. I was afraid to go home without that help. When I got home, he was fine and I nursed for year.

With C, he latched on fine at the hospital but when my milk came in he refused. I would bawl in the night and declare that it was over. Then bawl in the morning because I didn't want to be done. I finally went to lactation and he finally got it and I nursed for 10 months.

I don't remember any problems with T. Heavenly Father was blessing us because it was tax season I suppose. I must have been sick of either being pregnant or nursing and wanting my body back because I stopped at 8 months.

With this one I was actually looking forward to it. I have had enough of a break that I really wanted it to work. Plus, if she is my last it will be my last time to do it. She nursed for a few minutes after she was born. Then after some struggles she nursed at 10:45 that night. Then she refused for about 1 1/2 days. I finally got her to do it again and things were going great. Then last night my milk came in and she hasn't nursed since. And I am engorged and in pain.

This morning I went and used my giftcards to Wal-greens and got a breast pump. I also got two other devices that are supposed to help with latch on. One is a nipple shield and one is a latch attach (if you are still reading this-bravo. I probably would have stopped at the word nipple).
Anyway, I tried them both and she didn't really care. She wanted nothing to do with it.

They say breastfeeding is so much cheaper but by the time I spent $80 in nursing bras, then breast pads, pump, little devices it is adding up. I know over the course of a year then it will be worth it. But what if she never gets it?

I know I should call lactation. I've been trying my hardest to avoid it. I know they are great and knowlegable people but they usually shriek at the word formula. Do they have to be so extreme? When I called to talk with them about C she told me I must stop using formula right away. Ok. I've got a 6 day screaming his head off in hunger. What do you suggest?

Maybe the hospital has a new lady who would be a little nicer. Why are we made to feel less of a woman if this doesn't come naturally?

Oh well. This too shall pass. I just wish I was looking back on this memory instead of having the sorest breasts in the all of the land at the moment. Thanks for letting me vent.


  1. Oh Julie. I am so sorry. You just brought back a flood of memories to me. I had always thought that I would breastfeed, but Kaitlyn had other ideas. She wouldn't latch on at all. They tried the nipple shield, different positions, putting a little formula in a tube underneath the shield, and nothing worked. I left the hospital feeling like a failure without any desire to breastfeed. I had bought a medela pump while pregnant because I thought I would be returning to work, and that is what I used for 5 months. Yes, I said 5 months! She had mostly breastmilk until it wasn't enough and by 5 months I was tired of pumping. When Marissa was born I had absolutely no desire to even try. In fact, I told the lactation ladies to bug off. I didn't want to talk to them at all. So I pumped for about 6 weeks and decided that was good enough.

    Good luck! I hope that things get better for you and work out the way you want them to. Sorry for the long comment.

  2. With my first, I had difficulties nursing. It was such an emotional time. I had the baby blues and thought I was the worst mother in the world because I might not be able to breastfeed. After 2 months of pumping, nursing, and using formula, my daughter finally got the hang of it! Halleluja! And then she tried to breastfeed until her 16th birthday...maybe I exaggerate a little, but at the time I didn't think she would ever stop!

    You aren't kidding when you say the lactation experts are extreme--when I even suggested formula, you would have thought I had said I was giving my newborn crack.

    You do what works best for you. Every baby is different and I don't think one method is always the solution. I had to try a little of everything before we finally found our stride. Good luck and I hope it gets easier! Please....let me know if I can help!

  3. Julie_ I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling. I have hear a million times that this works for engorgement; frozed cabbage leaves. Place them under your arm next to your breast. My aunt lost her baby before she was born and she did it and says it worked wonders. It's worth a shot. If you don't want to wait for them to freeze I think just cold cabbage leaves work too. I hope you can get this figured out soon.

  4. Julie, Looks like we have all had hard moments breast feeding. I never made any milk after 3 months I still only got a 1/2 oz total both sides. Needless to say we had to go to formula. Just for a price comparison for your 80 dollar investment. It cost us 140 dollars a month in formula which is just about 2000 a year for just formula. Just an fyi the kirkland brand is the same as similac but 15 dollars for 2 big cans, campare to the 35-40 dollars per one big can. Not that you are going to need this info, I'm sure Capri will come around. Good luck.

  5. Julie, no fun. I don't think anyone likes nursing for the first couple of weeks, but it sounds like you have had an extra rough go round with Capri. Let me know if I can help out with your kids or whatever. I have a great hand pump if you need that also hooks up to the really nice electric pumps that you can rent, so if you need to borrow it let me know. I also love the heat compressions on my sore engorged chest, in case you haven't tried that yet. I have a heating pad just in case you don't. Please, let me help out if I can, ok!? Jess

  6. I am no breast feeding expert. But, I don know first hand that cold cabbage leaves will help with being engorged. Green, not purple. Purple turns you purple, just like you would think!

    My sister in law's mother is a lactation specialist. She lives in Georgia but she has a 1-800 number. I called her a lot, and she was so kind and helpful. You can call me and get her number if you need it.

    Just remember that if you have to give her a bottle, she will turn out just fine. I gave my girls formula and you know they are big for their ages! Hang in there!!

  7. Oh Julie. I feel for you. It is soooo hard when a baby won't eat. Tyson was my hardest. It took about 3 1/2 weeks of screaming from him and crying from me at every feeding. I didn't do anything special....he just finally got it. It is so frustrating and exhausting though. I'm sorry. If you are using bottles, I finally tried using a nuk bottle that had a nipple like a nuk bink. Not that he took a bink. I tried and tried to get him to take that too and he wouldn't. Is she taking a bink? I think Tyson started getting nipple confusion between 2 different types of binks, several different bottles and the nipple shield and me. He liked the bottles from the hospital that he didn't have to work at or do anything to get milk----once I switched to that nuk bottle and he figured that out, then he figured me out. Let me know if you need anything. I would love to do something. Creighton can come play or I can bring dinner. Don't hesitate to call. We're not too busy.

  8. We called the lactation specialist the "Nipple Nazi". Let's get real, breastfeeding isn't for everyone. It may save you money but there is a time savings when they are older. You have 4 great helpers that could bond to Capri while giving her a bottle. It was nice to be able to leave Andrea and Teagan with Trent and the bottle. You need to do what feels right for your and your family. Don't worry about what other people think. Mother's intuition is 99% right. It has never failed me. Good luck!

  9. Julie I'm so sorry! I know exactly how you feel cause I've been there - 5 times. Evan was the only one that would nurse, but problems came when I dried up at 5 months due to being 3 months pregnant! I've had those midnight tears and thanked my lucky stars that wal-mart was open all night. The first and only time I called a breastfeeding person I got the opposite response "maybe you should just give him a bottle" is what she told me! The first two weeks are the hardest. Please let me know if you need help, I'm 30 seconds away.


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